Dancing With Spiritual Midwives

5 October 2008

Yesterday I finished the Spiritual Midwifery Level 1 component of my doula course with ICSM. This component is a three day course, spread out over three months. It involved a lot of sitting in a circle with the rest of my classmates and listening to the wisdom of an experienced spiritual midwife, meditation, discussion, and some really useful and thought provoking doula learning activities.

I found the meditation involved in this course very challenging, and had only limited success with it on the second day. My classmates had vivid visions and could give detailed accounts of where they travelled during their meditation. There is a lot of meditation to this course, so that meant a lot of frustration for the meditatively-challenged (ie. me!).

The course is lead by Rachana, who is an experience rebirthing practitioner and thanks to this I had the honour of witnessing three different rebirths for three of my classmates. The rebirthing process is incredible, it looks to be very cathartic (to read about my first encounter with rebirthing click here). In our discussions about the rebirthing process Rachana told us that it was common for women to relive their own births when giving birth to their children. Having five rebirthing sessions is another component of becoming a certified doula with ICSM, so at some stage in the near future I will have my own rebirthing accounts to share first hand.

At the end of our second day we received a homeopathic birth kit which I'm sure will be of great use (if my family don't finish all the arnica before I get a chance to use it!).

Each day of the course was filled with useful insights for doulas. One that really stayed with me was the importance of letting go during birth and how physical let go's aid emotional and psychological letting go. Rachana mentioned that it is common for women to experience diarrhea in the days or weeks before birth and that this is the body's way of beginning the letting go process for birth.

Another great insight was that doulas are like placentas - care for a limited time. To be a healthy carer we also have to recognise when our usefulness is complete and detach, allowing our former clients (for want of a better word) to continue to grow independently of us. We also talked about how one of the most important things a doula must learn is how to be invisible.

Rachana gave us some practical suggestions for how to be with-woman at birth if ever we are struggling. She said to try moving with the birthing woman; sway our own hips if that is what she is doing, model her body position if we are able to because this will help us get into her frame of mind better. She also suggested breathing down into our pelvises to calm and focus ourselves.

The activity I felt I drew the most from was a dancing exercise. We were divided into groups of three, two of those people were to dance as a couple and the third person was to work out how to dance with them in a way that felt right for everyone.

Dancing was metaphoric birth, the dancing couple were the birthing couple and the third person was the doula. It was really interesting to see how the relationship dynamics played out in each group. We did the activity in our groups three times, giving everyone a chance to be the doula.

The first time we danced I was one of the birthing couple. My partner and I danced closely, holding onto each other at all times. We didn't notice our doula, we focused entirely on one another and there was little for the doula to do. She danced separately from us for the entire time.

The second time I again was one of the couple, this time I felt that I was the male partner. Specifically, I felt like a first time father at a hospital birth; awkward, unsure, clumsy and in the way. I tripped and fumbled over my partner, and felt distracted by everything around me. I was very relieved when our doula joined the dance and the three of us danced inward and outward around in a circle. As three I found my rhythm.

The last time I was the doula. At first I watched the couple dancing together and stayed out of the way. I wanted to let them have their dance without me completely, if possible. I swayed back and forth in time with them from a distance. They were going fine, except that one of them would occasionally look my way and I wondered if maybe she wanted me to join in. Her partner, however, was enjoying their one on one dance, so I leave them be. The first dancer gave me another glance and extended her hand out to me, a sure sign I was welcome and needed. I realised that she was the symbolic birthing woman in this third dance. Myself and the other partner danced around her, at one point she was on the tip of her toes between us, higher than us, and she spun both of us around on either side of her, and laughed joyously.

After our third dance Rachana told us that it was not uncommon for the birthing woman to call her doula into the space for company or support.It was a very interesting (not to mention fun!) activity.

For anyone interested you can do Spiritual Midwifery without taking the whole doula course. The college recommend it for anyone whose work involves entering a woman's birth space.