If It's Not "Rape", What Would You Call This?

The following extracts come from birth rape survival stories. These heart breaking words demonstrate the appropriateness of the term "birth rape" for naming the violent assaults many women endure at the hands of their so-called care providers during childbirth. Special thanks to the brave women who were willing to share these experiences here in the hope of conscious raising. May their words inspire compassion in those who have been so lacking in debates about rape terminology.

***Trigger warning***

"…[S]he ripped my legs apart, pulled my knickers down...is nothing sacred people- THIS IS MY BODY! ...I was lost and I was frightened…then [she] tells me to get up on the bed and she did an internal. [What the fuck]? Another invasion of my body. I was so cumbersome, and clumsily managed to climb onto [the bed]. Then I just lay there and let her do it, feeling vulnerable, scared, powerless, self-conscious… I wanted to cry. It hurt and I was so very embarrassed…then he inserts two fingers into my anus and tells me to push his fingers out. I got angry and pushed like I never knew I could…I felt no immediate bond with my son and for that I felt guilt, I still feel it. What followed was 12 months of postnatal depression…" - Amanda

"I was taken to a room filled with men. I was naked and they held me on my side and informed me not to move. I couldn’t have done anything even if I wanted, I was unaware of everything and everyone, it was all a blur…I felt nothing. I was numb. I was scared….I lay cold, scared, numb." - Kate

“ If a stranger stopped me on the street and did to me what my obstetrician did with my first [birth] then he'd be in jail right now...

He tried to insert the speculum - He tried 5 times - shoving it into me harder and harder whilst I screamed. He then threw it - all bloodied - on the floor and inserted one of his hands up inside of me. He then grabbed the catheter with his other hand and then shoved that inside of me and inserted it manually.

I would have passed out at this stage if it wasn't for my partner (now ex) pressing on my nail beds (something we used as medics to see if a patient was responsive) I was crying and in so much pain and begging him to stop, I tried getting up but my partner held me down - I begged both him and the midwives to stop the obstetrician.

I could hear a noise like water hitting the floor - I looked over the side of the bed to see a huge puddle of my blood on the floor. - A midwife ended up putting a contaminated waste bin under the bed to catch the blood.

The whole time the obstruction ignored me - he never spoke to me and once he finished he just walked out." - Christina

"He didn't get consent. He just did it, and it hurt, and I cried and kept shouting STOP! STOP TOUCHING ME! but he refused. He said "It's too late, I'm already in there. If you think this is bad just wait till the baby is born."...I laid in bed. They wouldn't let me get up. I couldn't move around so my contractions were excruciating...They tied my wrists to straps that were on the bed. Then they did the same thing to my ankles. They took off my gown...I wasn't pushing enough so the doctor put both his hands in my vagina. I yelled STOP!! but no one listened. I screamed I DO NOT CONSENT!!!! and then he heard me and said "It's too late, baby is being born." I told him GET AWAY FROM MY BODY but he just kept rubbing my vagina with his fingers...The doctor offered to sew me up tight for my husband. My husband said "Did she tear?" and the doctor said "No, but I can put a couple stitches in for you." Then he left." - Rose

"I cried and begged him not to hurt me…I still felt violated, humiliated and I lost another piece of my dignity” - Alyssa

"I suffered from PTSD as a result...12 years later when I gave birth again I still held residual fear from this experience. I had no idea I'd carried it with me for so long. After so long the pain is like an arm or a leg, you know it's there but you're so used to it you don't pay any attention to it." - Meg

Quotes like these are the reason I believe it is important to accept and make use of the term "birth rape." Yes, it is a nasty term. Yes, it is a confronting term. Yes, it brings to mind images of sexual abuse. That's because the acts which fall under the term ARE nasty, confronting, and sexually abusive. In hospitals all over the world women are experiencing childbirth as sexual abuse, and the ongoing trauma they live with after their babies births mirror the trauma other survivors live with after being raped and sexually assaulted.

These birthing women are penetrated against their will by people they thought they could trust. These women are penetrated by multiple strangers in one day. These women are penetrated without consent. These women are penetrated with the body parts of people with power-over them. These women are penetrated with instruments. The genitals of some of these women are cut without their consent. As Christina suggested, there's no doubt that these acts committed on a public street would be classed as hideous crimes, but our society is complacent with such crimes being committed in maternity wards. It has to stop! But how can we stop that which we don't even have the courage to name?

See also
'It's not RAPE rape' - The F-Word

On birth rape definitions and language policing - The Curvature

...By any other name would still hurt as much - Ilithyia Inspired

You were raped, but let's talk about my sex life - Ilithyia Inspired

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