Breastfeeding & Healing From Sexual Abuse

Today I read this post at Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog about breastfeeding and sexual abuse, which links to the site of Penny Simkin, a doula who has written a book about childbirth for survivors of sexual abuse. I also discovered Penny's writing about sexual abuse survivors during the postpartum period, in which she writes that one of the possible impacts past sexual absue can have on a woman during the postpartum period is "revulsion with sexual implications of breastfeeding".

Below is my journey with healing from sexual abuse and it's relevance to my experience of the breastfeeding relationship. I will include some more online resources about breastfeeding and sexual abuse at the end of this post....

When I was nineteen weeks pregnant with my daughter my breasts began leaking colostrum and at that moment, at twenty-four years of age, I discovered that I had breasts. Prior to that moment I had lived in denial about my womanly bust, ignoring it because to think, see, or touch them was to acknowledge the sexual abuse I survived as teenager.

My abuser had a particular fascination with my breasts and the more his interest grew the more I pretended they weren't there. Until I was twenty-five I never wore a bra that fitted me correctly or supported my large breasts. I stuffed them into smaller bras, at the time not realising this was what I was doing, because I could not allow myself to recognise their blossoming size.

I might have lived in this denial and carried the hand prints of my abuser on my breasts my whole life, had I not decided to have a child and read extensively about raising healthy children prior to becoming pregnant.

My daughter and I have been breastfeeding for almost 14 months. There have been challenges throughout that time, but none greater than being confronted by the sexual abuse of my past.

Sometimes her suckling at my breast, or tweaking the nipple on the other breast while feeding (which is one of her methods for prompting milk production in that breast) causes me to have flash backs and I confused her presence at my breasts with his; the abuser. There have been moments when I have cried and begged her to stop, feeling the fear and shame from a decade ago. But she doesn't stop, of course, because she knows that her life depends upon my breasts and I don't force her to stop because I am her mother and accept my responsibility to do right by her and meet her basic human needs.

I seek help to heal from the abuse, because that is the real problem, not breastfeeding. Why should I let a pervert from my past abuse my daughter through me by denying her what is her birthright?

Were it not for breastfeeding I would not have sought help. It is so easy for women to mistreat themselves as others have done and to continue abusing themselves long after their abusers are gone. Breastfeeding has brought an end to this for me, because with a hungry baby to care for, it's not just about me anymore.

A friend of mine sent me a link to an article by Kate Joester, another feminist mother who discovered the healing power of breastfeeding. Like me, this woman survived the sexual abuse of her breasts and like me she discovered the power of reclaiming her breasts through breastfeeding:

"The first thing I did for my children as babies was provide for them, all by myself. Physically, I had it in me to give them all they needed. I hate that so many women don’t believe that of themselves and bemused that handing that capacity over to someone else is seen by some as liberating...After 28 years in a culture where women’s bodies belong to pretty much anyone but them, it was only my children that showed me that my body, even mine, belongs to me to give." (Emphasis added).

As I read that exert I was struck by how easy it would have been to quit breastfeeding and tell myself I was free. Free from the pain and free from the flashbacks. And what a great reason I would have had to justify my "choice" not to breastfeed! I could have said defensively to breastfeeding mothers: "It's great that you can breastfeed, but you didn't have my problems."

There I could have sat, fattening my child up on artificial milk that increases the liklihood of her developing all kinds of allergies and diseases and other health problems later in life (that would have forced her into an unnaturally deep sleep because her body simply couldn't cope with the massive task of breaking down and digesting all those artificial chemicals while awake). All the while my breasts safely hidden away in a bra that doesn't fit, still securely the property of a sexual predator I once knew.

Related Resources

Beyond The Abuse: breastfeeding after sexual violation by Gwen Morrison

Breastfeeding After Sexual Abuse by Le Leche League

Breastfeeding and The Sexual Abuse Survivor by Penny Simkin

Breastfeeding as a Survivor of Sexual Abuse by Morgan Gallagher

Breastfeeding: radical, feminist and good for you by Kate Joester

The Long Shadow: adult survivors of childhood abuse by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., IBCLC

More links here at Breastfeeding Made Simple

Note: I really can't thank my lactivist friends enough for their genuine support throughout my journey.

Breastfeeding a Walking, Talking Tot

I recently read one woman's account of breastfeeding her son beyond 12 months. As I began reading I thought to myself how sad it is that a mother could find breastfeeding a toddler to be embarrassing and how fortunate I am to be evolved enough not to find myself in the position of caring about what others think. Then I got further into the article where she writes:

It wasn’t always this way. Nursing the first year was bliss. I loved it. We’d lie around together for hours. He’d periodically look up at me and coo, but mostly he hummed and stayed put. In public, I tossed modesty aside and whipped out my boobs if he wanted them. If anyone looked surprised or uncomfortable, I didn’t care. I was a proud breastfeeder.

My daughter is a mere 13 months of age, and it is within the realm of possibility that my feelings toward breastfeeding her may change as she grows.

After exploring some of the challenges of nursing her 17 month old (who let's face it, is still really a baby), in particular in public situations she asks:

So why am I still going through all this?

The World Health Organization recommends nursing for the first two years. And Dr. Sears advocates letting children self wean. Extended nursing is nutritionally and emotionally beneficial for young children, they say. I wholeheartedly believe that. My son strokes my cheek and stops periodically to sigh in pleasure. When he’s sick, it is often the only thing that makes him feel better. I can offer him this part of myself to stave off a tantrum, or comfort him when he’s hurt. It has benefits for me, too. When he curls up in my lap, I melt. I get to have my baby be a baby for just a little bit longer.

She goes on to share a positive encounter with her Church Pastor:

I was mortified. I was going to have to breastfeed him in front of a roomful of church ladies. “Is there a private room somewhere?” I asked. The pastor looked at me, baffled. “You could use my office, or you could nurse right here. Honestly, no one cares.” It occurred to me that my fear that other people were judging me might be imagined. Maybe no one cares but me.

This mother concludes:

One day he will stop breastfeeding altogether and then this whole phase of parenting will be over forever. As I watched him play, I thought that maybe I should try to enjoy nursing while it lasts.

You can read the full article here.

See also my article Breastfeeding Two Years And Beyond

Pumping For Grace: EBM For A Very Sick Child

Given we know a component in breast milk has the power to kill cancer cells, it comes as little surprise to me that a two-year old girl in Colorado, suffering from bowel disease is being kept alive on donations of expressed breast milk.

According to Babble Australia; Grace Vaught was so sick that she eventually refused to eat any food or to drink. Her mother was breastfeeding Grace's younger sibling and offered her some of her expressed milk to discover that Grace was able to stomach breast milk when she could not eat or drink anything else!

After attempting to express enough milk to meet Grace's needs, her mother went in search of milk from local lactators, Kate Tuttle at Babble reports:

"She turned to Mother’s Milk Bank, but found the cost prohibitive (it would cost $US200 a day to provide the milk Grace needs). The bank did respond to her plight with a $US1,000 donation of breast milk. Vaught then turned to her church, and through it to a virtual army of breastfeeding mothers. First, the Samaritans Ministry Christian Health Care raised $US21,000 to help buy breast milk for Grace; then, through a group called mamasource.com, women at Vaught’s church connected with other women in the area. Before long, dozens of local women began pumping a little extra every day for Grace."

Read the full article here.

A Mother's Failure To Breastfeed Is Society's Failure To Support Her

One of the authors of Reclaiming Sex After Childbirth: the survival guide, Jodi Cleghorn has shared her story of cross nursing her friend's baby on Type-a-Mum. Her assistance during the first couple of weeks of her friends new motherhood got her friend through the hardest moments of establishing her own breastfeeding relationship with her child. Cleghorn writes:

"Those two weeks were enough to get things back on track Michelle and Kynan. It didn’t solve all of the breastfeeding issues but it got Michelle through the roughest period, when she was most vulnerable to turning to formula."

Michelle's story reminded me of my own early breastfeeding days. I know that if it weren't for my lactivist friends I would have compromised my newborn daughter's gut flora with artificial infant milk. Genuine support during those early breastfeeding days is truly priceless! Sadly the responsibility lies with new mothers themselves to ensure they set up a good breastfeeding support network for themselves. But many women don't realise what forms of support they are going to need until the time comes, or until it is too late. Cleghorn's insight on this particular issue is brilliant. She states:

"...[T]he failure of a mother to breastfeed should not a personal strike against her, rather a failure of the community as a whole to support her in this most precious and important of jobs."

If breastfeeding were valued as it should be, new mothers wouldn't have to ensure they have adequate breastfeeding support, our society would simply provide this! Prior to industrialisation and the mass production and marketing of artificial infant milk women had better breastfeeding support. Women grew up watching other women breastfeed, it was the norm. They learned from the women in their lives, and when they struggled they had a community of lactating women right there to help cross nurse while they perfected the art themselves, just as Cleghorn did for her friend.

While it saddens me that breastfeeding in the industrialised world is so under-appreciated to the extent that cross nursing is seen as unusual, it is heartening to read about Cleghorn's experience and to know that there are women out there who are offering this kind of support to other mothers.

You can read the full article here.

Valentine's Day, Love & Breast Milk

My daughter's first birthday is rapidly approaching. Her birthday of course also marks the first anniversary of our breastfeeding journey. To celebrate the occassion I have put together the following montage:

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

If you would like to copy the codes and post this montage on your own blog or website please leave a comment here requesting permission.

Peace, love and breast milk, Sarah.

Breast Milk, A Cure For Cancer?

Could it be that women have had the cure for cancer hidden in their jackets all along? An Australian news article suggests this could very well be a possibility:

“Six months before the child was diagnosed, I was doing research as part of my midwifery and read that breast milk contains a protein that causes cell death in malignant tumours,” the midwife said.

“I thought I would like to research this as an innovative treatment and when the child was diagnosed, I suggested they try it. There was nothing to lose and plenty to gain.”

The midwife went to an Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting in Maroochydore and asked mothers if they would be prepared to donate their milk to help.

She also advertised for breast milk in the Sunshine Coast Daily classifieds.

The child was given 500ml of breast milk each day mixed with fruit in a “smoothie”.

“Since those first weeks, donations have grown through word of mouth,” she said.

“There are so many generous wonderful breastfeeding mothers on the Coast who will do anything to help.

“We are extremely grateful to all those mothers who have donated their ‘magic milk’ as we are certain that it has been of substantial benefit.”

An examination of the child in Brisbane on Friday showed that there had been a significant turnaround in the girl’s condition." (Read the full article here).

This story is not the first of its kind. Dr Donn Bauer drank breast milk while recovering from the removal of a cancerous tumour in his vocal cord, stating "It's just a boost of energy, and it's not like drinking an energy drink or a couple cups of quick coffee, but a slow process of feeling good" (Breast Milk Used to Treat Cancer Patients). A 59 year old American man diagnosed with prostate cancer read some literature about the breast milk killing cancer cells and sought a lactating mother who was willing to donate expressed breast milk for him to drink daily in a fruit smoothie (Breast Milk as a Cancer Treatment & The Man Who Swears By Breast Milk).

The literature he referred to was about Anders Hakansson, a Swedish immunology student at Lund University. Hakansson mixed breast milk with cancer cells and his supervisor Catharina Svanborg discovered that the breast milk caused the cancer cells to self-destruct! (Breast Milk Component Kills Cancer Cells). 123Breastfeeding explains:

It turned out that the “assassin” was the protein alpha-lactalbumin, which turned lethal when combined with acid. Svanborg named the acidified protein “HAMLET” (human alpha-lactalbumin made lethal to tumors). HAMLET kills 40 different kinds of tumor cells in lab dishes, and human trials of HAMLET for treatment of bladder cancer look “very good” and show no side effects. (Promising Anti-Cancer Power of Breast Milk)

All reports so far state that there is yet to be a substantial scientific study concerning the potential for breast milk to cure cancer, but the anectotal evidence surely indicates this is an important area of research. Given the incredible immunological properties of breast milk and the numerous studies that attest to breast milk's ability to prevent all kinds of allergies and diseases, it does not seem far fetched that breast milk could cure the terminal illness that has stumped Western medicine.

Links on Cancer & Breast Milk

Breast Milk Component Kills Cancer Cells

Breast Milk Used In Cancer Fight - The Daily Mail, Sunshine Coast, Australia.

Breast Milk as a Cancer Treatment - The Lactivist

Can Breast Milk Cure Cancer? - About Breastfeeding.com

Promising Anti-Cancer Power of Breast Milk

Links on Immunology & Breast Milk

Immune Benefits of Breast Milk at a Galnce

Immune Factors in Human Milk

Wonders of Breast Milk

Your Walking Medicine Chest

101 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Child

* Special thanks to my friend who alerted me to this news story.

A Very Personal Gift

Last Christmas I gave someone the greatest gift I've ever given anyone. A gift that; boosts the immune system, protects children from sudden infant death syndrome, lowers a child's risk of developing asthma, diabetes, and food allergies later in life, and is great for bones, skin and teeth, to name just a few awesome facts about this gift: my breast milk.

Jay lives over 1370 kilometres from me. We met through an online homebirth community. When I was preparing for the birth of my child I drew a lot of strength and inspiration from her. I was anxious about the breastfeeding journey that lay ahead of me, but Jay had graciously shared her breastfeeding story online and she made me realise that with determination (and support) anyone could breastfeed.

During her third pregnancy Jay was diagnosed with hypoplastic breasts. This meant her breasts had underdeveloped milk glands, as the 007B website explains: "they simply don't have enough milk producing cells", which can lead to milk supply issues. If she wanted to exclusively breastfeed her child she would need the help of other lactating mothers.

To ensure that she gave her baby the best start to life and protected him from the dangerous health risks of artificial breast milk (ABM) Jay created a community of breast milk donors in her community. Jay adhered to the World Health Organisation’s recommendations that ABM should only be considered once the possibility of breast milk donations has been attempted.

As the holiday season was approaching Jay became concerned about the amount of frozen expressed breast milk (EBM) in her freezer and the availability of her donors during Christmas and The New Year. She appealed to the online homebirth community I belong to for more donors.

I learned that EBM could be packed with dry ice and sent around the world which meant I could possibly donate my milk to Jay. I replied to her request and said she could have all the milk I could express as soon as I figured out how to send it across the country. Thankfully others saw my response and before we knew it Jay had donors in Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth and regional areas too! Like the other donors, I just had to get a blood test to make sure I had no diseases that might pass into my milk and onto Jay's baby.

I kept my breast pump handy. Whenever I was feeling relaxed I would put it to my breast and start squeezing the handle. Before this I had only expressed to relieve engorgement or to get 5 to 10mls worth of milk to relive my child's conjunctivitis, blocked ears or runny nose (which I administered using a dropper). I found it painful and laborious.

Like birth, breastfeeding causes the mother's body to release oxytocin, a hormone which causes ejection reflexes such as the foetal ejection reflex that occurs during second stage labour, the ejection reflex women can sometimes experience during orgasm and of course the breasts' milk ejection reflex (or “let down”). But for oxytocin levels to rise enough to cause these ejections a woman must have a relaxed environment where she feels safe. Knowing this, whenever I sat down to pump for Jay and her baby I would try to get into the right frame of mind.

Other milk donor mums let me in on their secrets to successful expressing. These tips included pumping first thing in the morning and while your baby suckled at the other breast. Both tips helped a lot. Something else that helped was my own child's growing interest in the world beyond my bust. When in the company of others she became too excited to want to be still and feed, so the stretches between feeds over the holiday season became longer, and the milk was eager to flow when I pumped.

I discovered that trying to reach a certain numerical goal of EBM can threaten breastfeeding confidence. Watching my milk slowly drip into the pump made it seem like so little milk is made. Of course a baby is much more efficient at suckling milk from a breast and mother and baby's bodies work together to create optimum conditions for let-down, very different to pumping breast tissue with a piece of plastic. Still, there were times during when I thought to myself "oh my God, does my baby get any milk out of me?", "what's wrong with my breasts?", "all that work for so little payoff!" The flip side was looking at a jar full of milk that I made, which was very affirming. The thrill of fill a jar was fun.

I got to witness the magic of fore and hind breast milk. At the beginning of a feed breast milk is clear and watery. This is ideal for when the child needs to quench thirst but isn't up for a big meal. As the child stays at the breast the breast begins to let down thicker, white, fatty milk known as the hind milk. This is a gradual change from the clear to white milk (sort of like the same graduation from cold to hot water when turning on the hot tap at a kitchen sink). When first expressed all the milk blends in together, but when left in the fridge in a jar, undisturbed, it begins to separate. The thick white hind milk sits at the top, like skin forming on a soup, and the watery fore milk stays below.

Everytime I added more milk to my jar I swirled it around so that the fore and hind milk mixed together. I did this because otherwise the hind milk would stick stubbornly to the sides of the jar, and I didn't want that important milk to stay on my jar when it could be making it to a baby's tummy!

The jar I stored my milk in was an old mustard jar which had been sterilised. At the end of a sitting with my pump I emptied my expressed gold into the old mustard jar and kept it cool at the back of the fridge. Here it would keep for three days (ABA - Expressing and Storing Breast Milk). When the jar was full or close to full (or when the milk had been in the fridge for two days) I would pour the milk into a zip lock bag, seal it and place it in my freezer. Before using the zip lock bag I would label it with my name, the date the milk was expressed and the date it was frozen (sometime I would leave personal messages to Jay on the bags too, which made her smile months down the track). In my freezer the milk was safe for Jay's baby for three months if need be (ABA - Expressing and Storing Breast Milk).

Pumping for Jay on Christmas morning

Jay arranged to have a courier pack an esky with my frozen EBM & party ice (as it turned out dry ice was not safe for couriering) and fly the esky to her. This was no cheap feat! But such was Jay’s commitment to ensuring her son received breast milk.

I had wondered what a delivery man might think about border-hopping breast milk. But this was no ordinary delivery man. He and his wife felt it was an honour to be delivering something so precious from one family to another. As he packed the esky we talked about the wonder of breast milk, the potential for his wife to relactate and continue feeding their weaned two year old, and the amazing situation we found ourselves in thanks to Jay and her son. We both took photos of our special delivery before I farewelled my milk.

The following morning I received an email from Jay thanking me for the gift. The milk had arrived safely. We arranged a second courier date for March*. After that her son would be eating more solid foods and could get enough milk from Jay’s breasts alone. Thanks to Jay and her precious babe for giving us such a wondrous honour. There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing I was able to give you a gift that can do so much for the heatlh and well-being of another person. I look forward to our little milk sibling children meeting one another in the future.


*In total I donated over 5 and a half litres of breast milk to Jay and her son, which flew (frozen) from Melbourne to Brisbane during the warmest months of the year.

Fantastic New Breastfeeding Website: ibreastfed.com

http://ibreastfed.com/ Check it out!

From the "about" section of the site:

"There are thousands of women who desperately want to breastfeed their babies but don’t find the support they need when the odds are stacked against them. I created ibreastfed.com as a celebration for those of us who have battled through seemingly insurmountable breastfeeding problems and made it out the other side, and as a source of inspiration for those of us who are doing it tough right now.

ibreastfed.com aims to provide a safe but accessible place for women to share their breastfeeding success stories. As the collection grows, the stories on this website will include mothers’ experiences of breastfeeding babies who are small, sick, weak, sleepy, and who are unable to suck properly, digest effectively, and appear to be allergic to their mothers’ milk. I expect to include the experiences of mothers who have physical disabilities or conditions which have made correct positioning and attachment a challenge, who have had emotional/psychological/psychiatric hurdles to overcome, and who have breastfed through their own chronic or serious illnesses. I will have stories from mothers who have breastfed multiples, breastfed after breast surgery, breastfed despite never having quite enough milk, weaned then successfully relactated, breastfed adopted babies, and overcome many other challenging situations."

The Birth of The Milky Way

27 August 2008
From Fresh Milk by Fiona Giles:

"The story of the Milky Way, as it appears in Greco-Rman mythology, concerns the feeding of baby Hercules, son of Jupiter. Because Hercules' mother was mortal, Zeus put Hercules to the breast of the Goddess Juno, his wife and sister, knowing that Hercules would acquire immortality through her milk. As Hercules suckled from the sleeping Juno's breast, she woke up and pushed him away. As she did so her milk sprayed across the heavens, crystallizing into a promontory of stars. Her milk that fell on the ground produced lililies." (pages 1-2)

Whenever my milk drips onto the floor beneath me from now on I will think of the creation of galaxies.

Check out this rather appropriate image from sunreligion.net which is of "The unfolded contours of the Milky Way from Stars Atlas". I found it by googling "origins of milky way" and browsing the images that showed up in the search.

Cross Nursing Support

Note; cross nursing is not the same as wet nursing. Wet nursing refers to an arrangement where a mother employs another woman to breastfeed her child full-time. Cross nursing, however, refers to the situation where a mother occasionally relies on another woman to breastfeed her child, but for the majority of the time feeds her child herself.

It's not surprising that few people are comfortable with the idea of cross nursing given that many people are not entirely comfortable with mothers breastfeeding their own children! It is my opinion that, where safe and necessary, cross nursing is a meaningful and altruistic form of support for mothers. Breast milk is vitally important to the health, well-being, and development of all children for at least the first two years of their lives. And while the milk produced by a child's biological mother is the ultimate and perfect recipe for her/him, the breast milk of another healthy mother is superior to artificial milk/formula.

There are issues that should be considered before allowing another woman to breastfeed your child. These include;

• Does the lactating woman have any infections or diseases that might be passed onto your child via her breast milk? Eg. HIV, hepatitis, herpes, syphilis, tuberculosis etc?

• Whether the lactating woman is on any medication? Eg. is she taking medication or using illicit drugs that might enter her breast milk and therefore your child's body? Will this harm your child in any way?

• What does the lactating woman's diet consist of? Eg. does she consume alcohol or caffeine etc?

• Is the milk she produces suitable for a child the same age as yours? Eg. If you have a newborn in need for colostrum/transitional milk, the milk of a woman who is nursing her own older child is not going to have all that your baby needs.

• What impact will cross nursing have on your milk supply? Remember "supply and demand", for every feed your child receives from someone else your breasts are not getting the stimulation required to "place an order" for more milk production for future feeds.

• How might cross nursing effect the bond between you and your child? An important part of breastfeeding is the relationship and bond that you and your child build together. Does cross nursing pose a threat to the intimacy between you and your child?

• How will cross nursing make you feel about yourself, your baby, and the woman who offers her milk? Given the intimate nature of the breastfeeding relationship will receiving cross nursing support make you feel negatively about yourself, towards the lactating woman or your child? How will you feel knowing your child is experiencing that intimacy with another mother?

I'm going to focus on this last point concerning how a mother who receives cross nursing support from another mother might feel about this experience. In an environment where mothers live in separate dwellings from one another and the nuclear family unit (consisting of one mother, one father, and their children) is the primary model through which society is organised, cross nursing is considered a foreign practice. Being part of a cross nursing experience in this context can make for a complex emotional response. At least, it did for me.

During the postpartum period I received cross nursing support from a trusted friend. At the time I felt a mixture of; gratitude towards my friend, relief for my hungry baby, as well as a sense of failure and self-pity. My friend and I agreed that she should feed my baby late one evening the day after my milk had come in. I was engorged, large breasted and flat nippled, hormonal, tired, and overwhelmed. I had not been able to feed my baby in ten hours, and she was understandably upset. I told my friend that I didn't think my daughter was hungry because she wouldn't eat. We called the Australian Breastfeeding Association for support, but there was little the counsellor could do from the other end of a telephone.

The counsellor suggested nipple shields to help give my baby something to latch onto. But we didn't have any and all the stores had closed by that time and wouldn't be open for at least eight hours. There was no formula in the house, which was deliberate, I had felt that it's presence would undermine my confidence and the temptation to use it at the first sign of difficulty would be too great to resist.

Knowing that the milk of her mother was essential to my baby's health, we attempted to express. I held my breast pump on one breast and my friend held her pump to my other breast. We found that my breasts were so engorged that we struggled to get the pumps on properly. After a while of unsuccessfully attempting to express milk from my breasts my friend offered to nurse my baby and I agreed. It was the right decision at the time given the circumstances and given my friend's health and the healthy lifestyle she leads in order to nurse her own child. But it wasn't ideal because her milk was not made for my baby, and because her child was seventeen months older than mine, and my baby needed the specific type of milk that my breasts were making for her stage of development.

My baby was very hungry by that stage and she had no trouble latching onto my friend and having a feeding frenzy. Shortly after, my baby went to sleep and my friend and I returned to trying to express my milk, which after several extremely painful hours we managed to do.

In the hours immediately after this cross nursing experience I made some very harsh judgments of myself. I told myself that I was a useless mother because I couldn't feed my baby, and that it wouldn't matter to my baby if I disappeared because my friend could meet her needs anyway. One of the factors contributing to my state of mind at this time was the hormonal changes my body was undergoing on account of my milk coming in. But even for the first couple of months after this I felt like the fact that my daughter had been cross nursed meant I had failed her.

I remember sharing this story with another friend, who is another avid lactivist, and her response was that she thought it was beautiful that I had received such meaningful support. At the time I did not share this romantic view of my experience, and dwelt on the fact that my baby had had something other than my milk inside her delicate newborn gut. A couple of months later, though, I reached a point of acceptance and appreciation.

With the aid of nipple shields my baby was able to latch on and get her milk, and eventually we no longer required the shields. Had we never been able to establish our breastfeeding relationship I might have felt worse about our cross nursing experience, but as it is I have never felt negatively toward my friend and the wonderful support she provided my family that evening.

Three months after that challenging night I realised that I no longer felt like a failure or upset by the fact that I was not the only mother to have nursed my baby. I felt extremely grateful that I had a friend who cared so much for my family that she offered something so personal of herself to help us. And even at the time I was very appreciative of the fact that no one in my support circle suggested I give my baby artificial milk. I would have felt very undermined and threatened by someone suggesting formula feeding, because it would have made me feel I was beyond help. However, my friend offering her own breasts as a one-off solution in that moment, said to me that it was far from over for me.

This has been my only personal experience with cross nursing thus far. Because it was a one-off arrangement the threat my milk supply and to the bond between my daughter and I was minimal. However, it was not something I would have chosen had I been able to express my own milk or attach my baby to my breast at the time. I believe that the negative emotions I felt about this experience in the months after it happened were related more to my inability to breastfeed my baby than cross nursing itself.

For more on cross nursing please take a look at the following articles:

Is It Safe To Share Breast Milk?

Wet Nursing And Cross Nursing

Not Your Mother's Milk

Concerns With Nursing Another's Baby

Infant Feeding in Emergencies pages 43-45

Infant and Young Child Nutrition (World Health Organization) page 17

Lactating Police Officer Responds to The Call of Duty

From CNN China http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/22/china.breastfeed/:

Officer Breast-feeds quake orphans
updated 7:32 p.m. EDT, Thu May 22, 2008

JIANGYOU, China (CNN) -- A Chinese police officer is being hailed as a hero after taking it upon herself to breast-feed several infants who were separated from their mothers or orphaned by China's devastating earthquake.

Officer Jiang Xiaojuan, 29, the mother of a 6-month-old boy, responded to the call of duty and the instincts of motherhood when the magnitude-7.9 quake struck on May 12.

"I am breast-feeding, so I can feed babies. I didn't think of it much," she said. "It is a mother's reaction and a basic duty as a police officer to help."

The death toll in the earthquake jumped Thursday to more than 51,000, and more than 29,000 are missing, according to government figures. Thousands of children have been orphaned; many others have mothers who simply can't feed them.

At one point, Jiang was feeding nine babies.

"Some of the moms were injured; their fathers were dead ... five of them were orphans. They've gone away to an orphanage now," she said.

She still feeds two babies, including Zhao Lyuyang, son of a woman who survived the quake but whose breast milk stopped flowing because of the traumatic conditions.

"We walked out of the mountains for a long time. I hadn't eaten in days when I got here, and my milk was not enough," said that mother, Zhao Zong Jun. "She saved my baby. I thank her so much. I can't express how I feel."

Liu Rong, another mother whose breast milk stopped in the trauma, was awed by Jiang's kindness.

"I am so touched because she has her own baby, but she fed the disaster babies first," Liu said. "If she hadn't fed my son, he wouldn't have had enough to eat."

Jiang has became a celebrity, followed by local media and proclaimed on a newspaper front page as "China's Mother No. 1."

She's embarrassed by the fuss.

"I think what I did was normal," she said. "In a quake zone, many people do things for others. This was a small thing, not worth mentioning."

There has been a huge outpouring of support from families who want to adopt babies orphaned by the quake. But that process takes time, and there are mouths to feed.

Jiang misses her own son, who's being cared for through the emergency by in-laws in another town, but she is aware of the new connections she's made.

"I feel about these kids I fed just like my own. I have a special feeling for them. They are babies in a disaster."

Obviously this is a story of compassion and sisterhood, but what I love most about it is Jiang's reaction to the media attention her actions have attracted. For her, what she did was what any breastfeeding mama would have done in her shoes. The ability to save little lives is an everyday miracle for women who breastfeed. We make milk, what's your superpower?